IF a journey to health and well-being

 Thursday 86.2 kgs Thank God I am on the way down again.  I really find this BBE WOE easy.  I did have a tiny drink last night but I am well on my way to none.  We are off to the UK today and so I have to be ultra careful and plan for every single minute of every day.  I have some steak cooked ready to eat and I will make an omelette up and take for early evening.  Mike will have his chilli and rice so I don't have to think about that.  Tomorrow is ferry so I can fast til the ferry gets in at about 2.30pm.  I will wing it but try to get to mums about 6pm for fish and chips.... except I won't have the chips.  Winging it probably isn't the best idea but I have discovered if I eat a good tablespoonful of butter when I start craving to eat then it takes away the craving.  It shouldn't spike my insulin and it just gets me through another couple of hours.  Anyone who doesn't understand keto or IF would have a fit reading that I eat a tabl...

 Wednesday 87 kgs So this morning I am 87 kgs.  What a stupid mess?  How can I have put on so much weight in just 5 days?  I know it will come off again because I am determined.  It just shows that I must have a plan.  The times it all goes wrong is when I don't have a plan.  Mike and I have talked this morning about what went wrong whilst we were away and it was when the wheel came off at the restaurant and I had to eat carbs and chips my whole resolve just melted away.  Once again I had the 'I deserve it' mentality.  I felt that I had cycled all that way, I was tired, it wasn't my fault that the restaurant was full, I deserved to eat biscuits and a couple of biscuits, a croque monsieur and some chips would be fine. What could possibly go wrong? We are talking about planning this next 10 days when we are away in the UK. I bought some steak yesterday and have cut it into 120 gm pieces and I am having two for my dinner with a couple of eggs....

 Thursday 86.7 kgs Oh My God what am I doing?  I really need to be writing this every single day without fail.  We have been away for 4 days cycling.  The first 2 days I was really good.  I fasted for at least 19 hours and the first day I only ate very low carb, no snacks and had a ginormous steak for dinner with some salad.  All good.  Day 2 I fasted well but I was really tired and by 4pm I felt exhausted and really irritable.  Day 1 had been a really tough and long day and it was hot.  Day 2 was very hot too and I don't think I drank enough water.  I probably did snack a bit after I broke my fast, I can't really remember but nothing too bad.  Then at 7pm we went to the restaurant for dinner and they were fully booked.  Honestly I wanted to just sit and cry.  I was tired and hungry and I was not in a good place.  Our plan all along was to eat at this place and when I have a plan I am good.  It's when the wheel f...

 Thursday 86.4kgs God this is so hard!  I really do have a part missing in my brain which says 'No you can't eat that!' or 'Step away from the biscuits'.  I have had my Family here for the last 4 days and they are teenagers and so were constantly eating.  Biscuits, sweets, cake and just about any other sugary food, plus Pizza, potatoes, and any other carb you could think of.  And guess what?  I ate them too.  My fasting went out of the window after 16 hours and I was constantly hungry... and miserable.... and irritable.  Poor Mike.  It just goes to show that eating sugar and carbs does create sugar and carb cravings.  It's a bit like giving up smoking or a heroin addict being clean.  As soon as you have that one hit of Smack or Tobacco you are right back there where you started.   I feel really, really tired today.  Is that because of the visitors with no respite or is it because my diet was so horrendous and my body ...

 Thursday 86.6kgs So here we are again.  Stuck in the middle of 86 and stuck at fasting for 20 - 21 hours.  No matter how hard I try I cannot go past 21 hours.  I start off with the intention of doing at least 36 but by the time I get to 5pm my head hunger is making me so irritable and grumpy.  I start thinking about all the food I want to eat and that I deserve it and that I am deprived because I can't have it.  Yesterday I did the best I have done so far in that at 5.45pm I gave in and so I ate some olives and some cheese.  That satisfied me and so I lasted until dinner time.  I ate chips.. 😓I didn't plan to have them but had cooked them for Mike and then they looked so nice I had a good handful on my plate.  I also had eggs and cabbage and some fried bacon.  I honestly didn't need the chips.  I just couldn't say no.  I need to cook less food.  Only enough for Mike and so there is not enough for me.  If I am going ...

 Tuesday 86.5kgs So yesterday was a bit of a triumph.  Although I only did 22.5 hours I did feel I could have gone on but I was scared to!  How flippin' strange is that?  I didn't want Mike to eat without me.  Then I told myself I could do fine with just doing 20 hours plus and I would lose weight without any deprivation.  Deprivation! FFS!......... I had a good strategy.  Firstly I did loads of water with salt and also sucked on salt during the day.  Then I had some pickle juice in the afternoon when I started to feel hungry and that was nice with sparkling water.  As someone said in one of the groups, it was a bit like a martini with olives.  Then as it got later and I thought I really should eat something as I was getting edgy I had a big mug of Marmite.  I don't think that is allowed but it stopped any thoughts of food dead.  at 5.30 pm I just gave in.  I didn't need to, I didn't really want to but I wanted to eat with...

 Monday 86.3 kgs It's been difficult to blog whilst we were away and it also gave me a lot of time to think, research and plan.  I am now sure that most of the 'hunger' I think I feel is the craving for the act of eating.  I just want the pleasure of putting something in my mouth and eating it.  It doesn't really matter what it is.   I did quite well whilst we were away and managed to fast at least 18 hours and sometimes 21 hours.  One day I had a real wobble and only did 16 but that was because I was bored and the eating habit craving hit me squarely in the chest and I just couldn't ignore it.  It is true that my tastes are starting to change and I am eating more yoghurt and salad and veg but I am still wanting to eat bread and potatoes.  I am sticking with the tiny amounts to satisfy that craving and hoping it will fade. Whilst we were away the one thing I read up on is extended fasting or ADF Alternate Day Fasting.  I read that to set...

 Tuesday I haven't blogged for a couple of days as we have come away for a few days to the southern Dordogne for a bit of cycling and hopefully lots of exercise.  The only negative is I forgot to bring the bloody scales. I have been really struggling with the eating and fasting and am getting to 18-19 hours and just can't go any further.  I think this is not a good time whilst we are away and cycling 60kms daily and then trying to go further with fasting.  I am trying to eat lowish carb but not doing terrible well at that.   So I have been listening to The Fasting Method podcast and omg I have learned so much.  One of the main things I have learned is about Fat Fasting.  Fat Fasting is where you chose 4 foods that are high fat and low carb and you eat them every day for as long as it takes for it to curb your appetite.  They suggest bacon, eggs, olives and avocados.  This can take 5 days or 2 weeks but eventually by fuelling your body fr...

 Sunday 86.5kgs Amazing how different I feel today.  There are two reasons for that.  Yesterday Morning I felt really bad, mentally and physically.  Late morning Mike wanted to go out for a ride on the tandem.  I really didn't want to go, but we hadn't ridden since last Sunday so I felt I should.  So off we went and I had some new shorts on which caused a few teething problems so we had to come back.  Eventually it was sorted and off we went.  It was glorious and I really, really enjoyed it as I normally do, even when I don't want to go initially.  We did 57kms and I felt really good during and after.  There is no doubt that exercise is like a drug and is much better for you than any other chemical intervention.  I also was able to fast for 19 hours easily and I could have probably gone beyond that but I wasn't expecting it so I hadn't planned for it.  As you can see from my stats at the top it didn't matter because I was down ...

 Saturday - 87.1 Woke up this morning feeling Mehh.  Really not in a good place mentally or physically.  I feel quite anxious, irritable and headachy.   Now I am up and have had a shower and drank some water I do feel better.  I have decanted 3 litres of water into the fridge and also my bottle and I must make a real effort to drink them.     So my weight is up again this morning.  I don't think I did that bad yesterday but the scales say different although according to MFP I had at least 1,400 calories.  Maybe I should forget Myfitnesspal and just watch the hours and eat 2 low carb meals?   I am not giving this up.  They keep saying tweak it till it's easy and I intend to keep doing that.  I can't give up the scales just yet.  I think that's a step too far. My 3 blessings today are Being financially comfortable. Ben.  N'uff said. My beautiful home.

 Friday 2nd June 2023 Weighed this morning and I am 86.8 kgs again. Yesterday was bloody tough.  I just don't know what's going on.  I didn't have coffee but I was so, so hungry by 1pm.  I really felt awful.  I struggled on until 2pm and then I just had to eat.  And of course once I started then I couldn't stop.  I was nibbling and snacking and eating Ryita and butter and nuts and crisps and then my dinner which was courgette spaghetti.  I felt really bad all afternoon and had to go to bed in the afternoon as I had the most terrible headache.  The headache wouldn't go away even after taking 3 hourly Paracetamol.  I felt so good a few days ago.  I am wondering if it is that I am not drinking enough water although I thought I was. Even when I woke up this morning I really didn't feel good.  My vision was blurred, I feel very shaky, I had the buzzing in my head and I had the mushy headache again.  I feel miserable and general...

 Thursday 1st June 2023 So yesterday didn't go exactly to plan.  My plan had been to fast all day but that didn't happen.  Maybe it was the excess of alcohol from the night before maybe it was too much sugar the day before.  This whole thing is a learning curve and everyday I reflect and learn what is happening with my body.  By lunchtime I was feeling hungry and I was also Hangry.  I kept fighting with Mike about nothing really.  I had done a really good and long Pilates workout in the morning though.  So at about 2pm because I was really feeling hungry I decided to have machine coffee.  It was shortly after that I started to really feel awful.  I felt shaky, wobbly, fuzzy headed and blurred vision again.  When will I learn?  Unless we are out doing exercise on the bike I CANNOT AND MUST NOT drink coffee.  So at about 3pm I decided to eat.  I wanted something quick and instant and so my choice was not good.  I h...