My chickens have come home to roost! 87kgs

 Wednesday 87 kgs

So this morning I am 87 kgs.  What a stupid mess?  How can I have put on so much weight in just 5 days?  I know it will come off again because I am determined.  It just shows that I must have a plan.  The times it all goes wrong is when I don't have a plan.  Mike and I have talked this morning about what went wrong whilst we were away and it was when the wheel came off at the restaurant and I had to eat carbs and chips my whole resolve just melted away.  Once again I had the 'I deserve it' mentality.  I felt that I had cycled all that way, I was tired, it wasn't my fault that the restaurant was full, I deserved to eat biscuits and a couple of biscuits, a croque monsieur and some chips would be fine. What could possibly go wrong?

We are talking about planning this next 10 days when we are away in the UK. I bought some steak yesterday and have cut it into 120 gm pieces and I am having two for my dinner with a couple of eggs.  I am having bacon and eggs for lunch and nothing else.  I am intending to do this at least til we get to Mums.  When we are at Mums I will take a bit of control of eating and I know Mum will be on board with it.  I can get loads of steaks from Aldi so that will be fine.  Being at Antony's is not going to be so easy as I imagine that they will cook for us?  Anyway as long as I have plenty of BBSE in the Motorhome I can sort myself out.  I have a plan.  Also if they cook for us one day it is not the end of the world if I can't stick to BBSE but I must stick to the fasting plan.  Fasting first!

I have bought a book to read on Kindle which I saw recommended on one of the fasting groups.  It's called Never Binge Again.   That is definitely what I did whilst we were away.  Once I started to eat off the plan, I was just bingeing.  I couldn't stop.  I want to try and find a way of stopping it if it starts.  It's all in the mind. 

My plan today is to fast until 3pm.  Then I will have some eggs and bacon.  For dinner I will have my steak.  Sorted.

Of course the other elephant in the room is that I had a drink last night.  I had one vodka which went straight to my head.... Duhhh.  Of course it did.  I feel so much better if I don't have a drink and I lose weight better too.  I am not going to drink tonight.  I bought myself loads of Perrier so I will have that with ice and it will hit the spot nicely.  I know why I drink.  It is when I am feeling stressed.  When I am getting wound up like an elastic band I have the drink to settle my head.  It calms me and makes me relax.  It is not the answer.  I have to get a grip on that.

PLAN,  PLAN,  PLAN.

Today I am grateful for

My husbands understanding and his brilliant mind.  He is really on board with me on this and wants to help.  If I ask him to help he will help me plan.  

Intermittent Fasting.  It has shown me a way to lose weight which is achievable and easy for the most part.  It has allowed me to go off track and to come back on without throwing it all up in the air and saying 'It's too hard'.  I don't have to wait until Monday to start again.  I can just start fasting now.  Even if I only achieve 16 hours, I have still fasted.

My determination.  I am stubborn and determined.  I always think they are negative personality traits but now I need to embrace them and make them work for me.

No one has been injured and nobody died.  Pick myself up, dust myself off and start again.  Every day is a new day.


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