IF a journey to health and well-being

 It's not exactly going fast.  I find it so disheartening when I read the massive losses people are having on the lower dose and on this dose but in only a couple of weeks.  It is what it is.  I am not exercising but I am so fucking tired all the time. I don't seem to have the energy for exercise.  I am trying to be careful about calorie intake and also protein but maybe I am not as careful as I could be.  I am not starving and I am trying to make this a way of eating that is sustainable.  I don't want to be not eating bread for the rest of my life.  If I want a bit of bread then I can have it after of course considering how the day is going. I weighed myself 2 days ago and I was 87.2kgs.  OMG I wanted to cry.  Sadly it didn't last as you can see from the numbers at the top.  I do reckon that alcohol is something which affects my weight loss.  I have not drunk wine and only had spirits with water.  Either vodka or spiced rum.  Then I only have one or two and not too str

 Gosh this is so tough.  I read all these people who are losing shed loads of weight and have no food noise and have to force themselves to eat.  If only! I have learned a saying whilst on the FB grou0s and that is 'Comparison is the theif of joy'.  This is so true.  I'll tell you something else that is the their of joy...l the bloody scales.  There is nothing more guaranteed to make you feel like crying than that square foot of glass.  But hey ho it is what it is. So today is the first of the 5mg dose.  I have to admit I am scared and really i had planned to take it yesterday but kept putting it off.  This morning I knew I had to do it and so I did the full 5ml into my belly.  I had been toying with the idea of doing a 3/4 dose but I am paying all this money to lose weight and it needs to bloody happen, otherwise it's just a waste of time and money.  There is still some liquid in the 2.5ml pen and I feel passed off that I might have wasted it. At £50 a jab it's a l

 This has been a mental challenge as much as anything else.  I know that in the first month you should manage your expectations and be realistic on how much if any weight you will lose, but hey ho we all expect a miracle don't we? So last week-end I was thinking it's not working because I was not losing any weight. I was looking forward to going up à dose so that I could get à move on.  Then as the week went by I suddenly realised I was making healthier choices.  It wasn't perfect but more often than not they were good choices.  I don't really think that I lost anything in week 3 but I do believe that I was making healthier choices. Exercise has been a bit of a no no.  I'm feeling quite tired.  I'm not sure if it is because of the meds or I'm just tired but I didn't feel like walking and my bike is missing a wheel.😒 Also last week I didn't take the shot until Sunday because of the trip back from the UK.  I decided to  move it all forward a day and t

 Week 2 Last week was quite surprising as I really had no side effects but also didn't have any positive effects like food noise reducing.   Well I don't think I did.   I did eat more healthily though.  I ate what I wanted and had bread and chocolate but not in excess and I think am thinking about food differently.   A couple of times I have left food on my plate, and a couple of times I have thrown food away where normally I would have forced myself to finish whatever was on my plate and I would definitely have put it in the fridge for later.  The scales have gone down but as they are mechanical scales it's hard to say exactly how much.  Today I took a photo of the scales so that I can compare. I think I have lost 2lbs but that is fine because at no time was I feeling like I was on a diet or deprived.

 So it's been a long time since I spoke to you.  A lot has happened but the most telling thing is that I am seriously fat again.  There is so much to say and I'm not sure it serves any purpose to go over it all.  I ate too much is the bottom line.  No fasting, no carnivore, too much of everything. So here we are back at square 1.  Back at 91.2kgs and feeling so bad.  Mentally I am on the floor.  Physically I feel so horrible.  All my clothes are tight and many now don't fit.  We have just come back from Spain where David insisted on photographing me at every bloody opportunity and most of those were when I was eating. So desperate times call for desperate measures.  I have bought myself a months dose of Mounjaro and at 8.15am today I took my first dose.  I haven't told Mike what I am doing because it is not cheap.  I paid £185 from Asda.   When I get back to France (I am at mum and dads at the moment for dad's birthday) I will go to the doctors and ask him if he wil

 Wednesday  88.2 I just do not know what to think and what to do.  My weight is going up and I am doing really strict carnivore.  I am eating a lot of fats but no carbs at all, nothing, nada.  I just cannot think about not carrying on with this because where do I go now?  What do I eat?  I will cut down the fats I think and just eat meat in some form or another. I ate a couple of biscuits a few nights ago and ended up having a horrible episode of heart racing and feeling sick and shaky.  I learned a hard lesson there about sugar.  I won't do it again. I feel defeated today.  Yesterday I only did OMAD and still I put on weight. I have friends coming for lunch today and I will eat healthily and will probs not have a drink.  I might have to have a massive rethink on everything. WHAT THE HELL AM I GOING TO DO? Maybe I need to resort to the exercise as I had planned to.