It's not exactly going fast. I find it so disheartening when I read the massive losses people are having on the lower dose and on this dose but in only a couple of weeks. It is what it is. I am not exercising but I am so fucking tired all the time. I don't seem to have the energy for exercise. I am trying to be careful about calorie intake and also protein but maybe I am not as careful as I could be. I am not starving and I am trying to make this a way of eating that is sustainable. I don't want to be not eating bread for the rest of my life. If I want a bit of bread then I can have it after of course considering how the day is going.
I weighed myself 2 days ago and I was 87.2kgs. OMG I wanted to cry. Sadly it didn't last as you can see from the numbers at the top. I do reckon that alcohol is something which affects my weight loss. I have not drunk wine and only had spirits with water. Either vodka or spiced rum. Then I only have one or two and not too strong either. But I have noticed that if I drink then the weight plateaus.
I am the one driving this. Only I can make it work. I am making the choices.
I was listening to a podcast this morning and it was talking about your 'Why?'. The question of Why I want this?
My list of Why's.
I want to feel better
I want to look better (for me. When I look in the mirror I don't want to feel the shock that I do now when I catch sight of myself). There is a part of me that is embarrassed about other people seeing me and seeing pics of me that other people might put on FB (take a bow Dave). I feel humiliated and old and fat and disgusting. I often think back to the pic of me just before the Park Run which is on the front of this blog. I felt so good and so healthy. I felt like a fit and healthy person.
I want to look good in my clothes. I have some lovely clothes, most of which don't fit me, I want to wear them confidently and knowing that when I sit down my belly isn't going to pop over the top of my trousers and I have two sets of boobs. I want my stomach to look normal. I want my clothes to look as though they are the right size not pulling across the chest or more likely across my shoulders. I want my tee shirts to cover my belly and hips not be taken up so much by my bulk that they don't even come to the top of my trousers.
I want to be able to wear my cycling stuff and not look like an overstuffed sausage, with bulges and fat bursting out everywhere. I don't want to feel self conscious all the time and wondering if people are laughing at me. I don't want to be apologising for myself.
The same on the motorbike. I am really way too heavy to be on the motorbike. I want to be able to get on and off it as a normal person. I want to not look like the Michelin man or a trussed up turkey. I want to get on it and not be cut in half by my clothing.
So here we are 6 weeks in. It's going ok and if I keep losing 1lb a week will I be happy?
Where am I going? How far do I want to go? I am 88 kgs and realistically I want to be 75 kgs. Wow that's 13 kgs to lose. 77lbs.... OMG that sounds like a lot. That will take over a year. in fact that is 18 months. I can't contemplate that.
My first goal is to get to 85 kgs, so 3 kgs or 7lbs to go. So 7 weeks. Even that sounds like a lifetime away. That will be mid June.
My next goal is 80 kgs which is another 11lbs. That will be the end of September.
I need a better strategy.
2lbs a week would be losing 8kgs or 17lbs in 8 weeks. 8 weeks is 1st July. That is not far away and makes it seem achievable.
I can do this and I don't need to change too much.
Drink more water
Stop drinking alcohol every day.
eat more protein and less carbs
Do some exercise.
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