Week 7 and 3 days- 86.4kgs 13 st 8lb

 Hello world.

I get so despondent in between times and then feel mehhh!  I then don't do this blog and I really should.  I suppose there is a part of me that is thinking that it is not working, but it is!!  It's slow and sure but it is reducing.  
The problem is that I weigh myself every day.  I know I probably shouldn't but equally I do because I have always said ' If I am weighing I am dieting'  When I don't weigh myself daily I know I am not motivated to diet.  
The problem is that if you weigh every day the scales go up and down.  One day last week I weighed and I was 86.2kgs.  Imagine if I had kept losing after that weigh in.  Today I would have been down in the 85's.  But due to the square foot of misery, the next day I was up in the high 87's.  Then a few days go by and once again I am down in the 86's.  It's hard but I am starting to understand my body.

When I started this 7 weeks ago I was full of fear, and full of hope and expectation.
Fear because I didn't know if I would be one of those unlucky people who suffered from horrific side effects which put them in hospital or if I would have lesser side effects like diarrhoea or vomiting.  Thankfully I have had really none of those.  I am learning this week and last week that if I eat too much I feel very nauseous.  I still haven't learnt what a small plate of food looks like.  I am able to leave some food on the plate but several times I have dished up too much and eaten it.  I have suffered the consequences later.  Last night we had chicken curry.  I dished myself about a large tablespoonful of rice and then the curry.  There was only about 5 pieces of chicken breast but I did dish up too much sauce.  It was so delicious I ate it all.  It was made with coconut milk.  I don't know why I ate so much of the sauce but I suppose the sauce is my thing.  I should have eaten less.  I felt so horrible later.  I couldn't wait to go to bed.
Today for lunch I had a grilled beefburger and two Laughing Cow triangles.  The same as I had for my lunch yesterday.  All afternoon I have been feeling really nauseous again.
Tonight Mike is having fishfingers and chips.  I think I am going to have a grilled chicken breast.  I might have some salad with it and I will try not to eat any chips.  I don't want to feel sick again.

So nearly 8 weeks in and I have lost nearly 5kg.  It is soooo slow.  I felt so full of hope when I started and if you had asked me where I thought I would be two months in I would have said I would expect to have lost at least 20lbs or 9 kgs.  I need to be more patient and really I should get out and do some exercise.  I have to say the drug makes me feel so tired.  I can't face going for a walk.  I have been out twice and I really enjoyed it but was then wiped out for the rest of the day.  

Hopefully by the time I weigh in on Saturday which is my recorded weigh in day I will be down under 86.2kgs and into the next kilo measure.   It's my birthday in 10 days and I would love, love, love to be in the 85's.
I can do this but if anyone ever says I have taken the easy or cheats option.... they will be looking at a black eye!

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