Trying to be zen and mostly failing! 83.2kgs

 Thursday 10th 83.2 kgs

What a roller coaster.  I had it all under control and was really doing well with my fasting until yesterday when our visitors arrived and I had a bit of a meltdown and just started  bingeing.  I ate everything in sight.  Cheddar biscuits, bread, gin and before I went to bed I had two glasses of whisky.  Hmmm.  Not good and I really hardly slept at all.  It serves me right but I did eat right when I ate at meal times so I suppose that is a positive.  I am not beating myself to death about it.  It is what it is and I am back on it today.  I am trying to utilise the new mindfulness lessons I am learning from Sam Harris and trying look at it as an interested observer.  I have a way to go but if by the time we get back from our holiday with them I have not gone up above 85kgs which was my initial goal for when they got here then I will be very happy.

They have all gone out for the day now and we are planning to go out on the bike for a ride in a bit which will be good for my mental health and for my exercise plan.  I am doing great.  I have got this under control in some form or other.

I am not too sure I know what is happening food wise but I have some beef left in the fridge and I have  lots of sardines.  Mike is eating with them so I don't have to be a part of that.  I can do this.  If I feel the need to binge or to damp down my stressful feelings then I will do it by eating the sardines or the the beef or some eggs or lardons.  I will just eat the permitted things if I have to and not eat the carbs which yesterday I was craving so much.  I suppose the carbs soothe me.  They give me comfort.  They also make me fat!  I'm going to say that if I need to eat then I need to eat.  I am going to eat but it has to be the right food.

Take it a day at a time Gail.


Today I am grateful for

My lovely husband who supports and encourages me and does not judge me.

Being able to have our family with us and to celebrate with them (We have 2 birthdays this weekend)

Sam Harris...  Thank you xx

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