Pain and no sleep. 83.6kgs

 Wednesday 83.6kgs

Going back down slowly.  I think I am going to have to change things up.  I do not want another day like yesterday ever again.  This has to be do-able or it's just not going to work.  I have to be able to live my life around IF.  Yesterday was horrible and I felt horrible.  Maybe I am a bit under the weather and I am really not sleeping at all well due to my shoulder.  Last night I slept very badly and I have a lot of pain today.  I have eaten a piece of cheese this morning to take some painkillers with.  I do feel quite low and miserable again.  What I wouldn't give for a plate of buttered toast and a cup of good coffee with cream in it.  But that is a step way too far in the other direction.  I won't do that.  However one thing that yesterday taught me is that I really only need to eat a tiny amount to feel satisfied mentally and physically.  It is mostly mental.  It feels like my mind is spinning and grinding and very tortured.  I don't want to get in the habit that every time it feels like this I can stop it by eating.  I know that if I go out and do some exercise then that will stop the mental thing.  It's just not appropriate every time.  As it wasn't last night.  I felt so tired and I could have gone for a walk with the dog but I just couldn't muster the energy.  By the time I did eat something which was at bedtime it was the only thing left to do.  I felt so much better when I had eaten.

Today we are going shopping and I think I will be fine until we come back.  I have had the cheese and painkillers and that will do me until much later when I need to take more tablets.  I have to get this pain under control.

Mike is cooking a Spanish omelette tonight for dinner with green beans and my plan is to eat with him.  I will go as long as possible today without eating and when I do I will just have a very small snack to stave off the hunger until dinner time.  I can't do more than that.  I don't think there will be exercise today except for walking whilst I am shopping.

I want to think about the not sleeping thing.  I have heard on The Fasting Method Podcast that sleep is really important and that not sleeping spikes your Cortisol.  I am sure that Cortisol is my problem.  I get the symptoms and feelings that it is a diabetic hypo or hyper but I have no signs of that on the tester.  I am pretty convinced it is the Cortisol and that I am very sensitive to it.  After years of suffering from anxiety which was produced from massive stress then it has probably made me very sensitive to it.  I never do well if I haven't slept well. 

The weather today is really grotty.  It's very cool and raining and it is very windy.

Today I am grateful for 

Painkillers

Extra strong voltarol gel

That I am retired and don't have to go to work today.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Week 5 and dose increase - 89kgs 14 st

 Gosh this is so tough.  I read all these people who are losing shed loads of weight and have no food noise and have to force themselves to eat.  If only! I have learned a saying whilst on the FB grou0s and that is 'Comparison is the theif of joy'.  This is so true.  I'll tell you something else that is the their of joy...l the bloody scales.  There is nothing more guaranteed to make you feel like crying than that square foot of glass.  But hey ho it is what it is. So today is the first of the 5mg dose.  I have to admit I am scared and really i had planned to take it yesterday but kept putting it off.  This morning I knew I had to do it and so I did the full 5ml into my belly.  I had been toying with the idea of doing a 3/4 dose but I am paying all this money to lose weight and it needs to bloody happen, otherwise it's just a waste of time and money.  There is still some liquid in the 2.5ml pen and I feel passed off that I might hav...
Read more

Week 6 - 5mg - 88.3kgs 13 st 12lb Read this often!!

 It's not exactly going fast.  I find it so disheartening when I read the massive losses people are having on the lower dose and on this dose but in only a couple of weeks.  It is what it is.  I am not exercising but I am so fucking tired all the time. I don't seem to have the energy for exercise.  I am trying to be careful about calorie intake and also protein but maybe I am not as careful as I could be.  I am not starving and I am trying to make this a way of eating that is sustainable.  I don't want to be not eating bread for the rest of my life.  If I want a bit of bread then I can have it after of course considering how the day is going. I weighed myself 2 days ago and I was 87.2kgs.  OMG I wanted to cry.  Sadly it didn't last as you can see from the numbers at the top.  I do reckon that alcohol is something which affects my weight loss.  I have not drunk wine and only had spirits with water.  Either vodka or spiced r...
Read more

Week 2 - 90 kgs 14 st 2lbs

Image
 Week 2 Last week was quite surprising as I really had no side effects but also didn't have any positive effects like food noise reducing.   Well I don't think I did.   I did eat more healthily though.  I ate what I wanted and had bread and chocolate but not in excess and I think am thinking about food differently.   A couple of times I have left food on my plate, and a couple of times I have thrown food away where normally I would have forced myself to finish whatever was on my plate and I would definitely have put it in the fridge for later.  The scales have gone down but as they are mechanical scales it's hard to say exactly how much.  Today I took a photo of the scales so that I can compare. I think I have lost 2lbs but that is fine because at no time was I feeling like I was on a diet or deprived.
Read more