Not yet! Thank you Carol Dweke 83.7kgs

 Thursday 83.7 kgs

To be fair it might have been 83.9 because I literally jumped on and off quickly.  Hey ho.  At least it doesn't have a 4 in it.  

Yesterday was a strange day.  I decided to try and fast as long as I could with just using training wheels.  So I had tiny snacks of lardons and cheese and tried to keep going.  It wasn't brilliant but it soothed my mind.  It got me to thinking.  I cannot go for long fasts without a lot of suffering mentally. (By long fasts I mean going over 18 or 20 hours. )  I mean really suffering mentally.  This has to be a way of life.  It has to be do-able.  It has to work and if it doesn't then I will not stick to it.  I understand DDD but it has to be mentally attainable.  So I am thinking of a strategy which involves fasting for as long as I can whilst still maintaining my sanity.  I am going to try this out over the next few days and see how it works.   
My plan is to fast until at least midday and hopefully 2pm.  Before that it is all head hunger and I can cope with that.  Once I get past that, as long as I feel comfortable and I have drunk plenty of water.  Eaten plenty of salt.  Drank pickle juice and had a tsp of butter then I will revert to plan B.  Plan B is to have tiny amounts of high fat, high protein and no carb food.  So a tsp of lardons with their fat.  A tsp of bacon fat and or butter.  A small and I mean very small as in the size of a dice piece of cheese.  A match book size piece of smoked salmon or maybe a piece of ham or maybe a beefburger or piece of sausage.  It must be very small but enough so that it satisfies my desperate head feeling.  I can only have one of any of them at a time.  So if I have a piece of cheese then that is it.  Nothing else.  I can only have one of these 3 times.  If I dont I know that I will just be constantly grazing.  I will keep going for as long as I can doing this and if possible I need to get to 6.00pm when I can open my window proper.  By then I will be prepping dinner and within a short time will be eating my main meal.  So my eating window will be closed by 8pm I hope.  
This is a plan and as I keep saying this has to be do-able and I have to tweak it till it works.  I only have say 4 kgs or 9lbs to lose.  I can do this.  I know I can do this.  I believe in myself and I will find a way to make this work.  I need to make sure that I have sufficient high protein and high fat things in the fridge.  I am not going to call them snacks because I am not snacking.  I am preserving my mental health.  If it doesn't work then I will try something else.  

So the 6 rules of this

I must fast until at least 1pm.  No TW (Training Wheel) until I have fasted at least 18 hours which is absolutely do-able.  The longer I can go the better.

I can only use a TW after a full bottle of water, salt, pickle juice and 1 tsp of butter have been used.

I can only use 3 TW's in any 'after fast' period.  If they have not worked then a small meal should be eaten.

Any TW must be high fat, high protein and no carb.  They must be no bigger than a dice or match book.  It must be nothing that will spike my insulin because that will make me hungry.

Any TW must be recorded in Myfitnesspal.

Provided I do not go outside the 3 TW's then I will maintain my fasting period on the app.  Should I need to have more than the TW's then the fast will be ended asap and the eating window is open.

Yesterday I watched a lot of podcasts and videos on YouTube.  One which I am so glad I found was one by Carol Dweke on Mindset.  She basically says that we have to change our mindset about whatever it is we are trying to do.  She says that we are striving for a goal and when we don't attain it we feel like we have failed and end up beating ourselves to death.  She believes that we should praise ourselves for our attempt and that we should tell ourselves 'Not yet'.  We haven't got there yet.  This encourages us to research and learn and try to find the way forward and find a way to attain our goal.  We haven't done it yet but we haven't given up and we will get there because we are going to find a way.  I love this and I am hoping that this is what I am doing now.  I have thought about how at the moment I haven't found the right fit for me with ADF or EF but I am researching and experimenting until I find the way.
My new pattern may or may not be the answer but at least I am trying.  I am showing up and keeping the faith.  

Today I am grateful for 

Carol Dweke and the 'Not yet'  Mindset.

I've cleaned my windows which look amazing and it makes me feel good.

My tenacity.  I've got this.



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