A rethink is needed with late update 85.1kgs

 Tuesday 85.1kgs

My weight is still going up and therefore I need to rethink my food choices.  Also, yesterday I felt really unwell all day.  I felt mushy headed, shaky and my eyes were unfocussed all day.  I was irritable, felt hungry and hangry.  I was snapping at Mike all day and felt very tearful when Ben rang to say he wasn't coming over.  I feel hurt because of that.  I have no rights as a parent but it would love to spend some time with him.  Hey ho, suck it up sister.  
Yesterday I took my blood sugars all day.  In the morning when fasted and just feeling crappy I took it and it was 5.  Then I took it before my dinner in the evening when I had eaten lunch and was hungry again about 7.15pm and it was 5.3.  I took it an hour after eating and I felt fine but tired and it was 5.7.  So not problems with my blood sugar at all looking at those numbers.  I was very, very tired and in fact had a short sleep at about 5pm on the settee which made me feel better for a short time.

Yesterday I ate Bacon, egg, avocado and salad for lunch and exactly the same for dinner.  1,200 calories all together.  33gms of carbs which is probably too high.  25 gms of protein and 100gms of fat.  I think I need to turn this around.  I have changed my fat to 60%, Protein to 30% and carbs to 10%.  I do think I am eating too much fat.  So more protein and then we will see.

I do feel very low mentally.  I am not sure how I get out of this right now but I just have to keep showing up.  I also need to feel more well.  I don't feel well a lot of the time and this is really worrying me.  I should feel fantastic according to all the hype, so why don't I?

My plan today is to eat the sardines I bought yesterday with maybe and egg or two and for dinner I'll have a steak and salad with an egg.  I'm not sure but that's the plan.  My main thing is I have to try and feel better physically and then hopefully mentally.  I am going to take the dog out for a walk too which will be good for my mental health.

I will check back in later.

Today I am grateful for

My tenacity and resolve.
My analytic brain
Showing up.

UPDATE:
It's now 9.50pm and I still haven't eaten anything.  It has been so easy to fast today.  I have felt so good and although I have had fleeting feelings of hunger I have felt well.  Now two things I have to consider here.  I slept well last night albeit I took a sleeping tablet.  I ate two meals of mainly fat and protein yesterday.  Although they were high calorie there was not a lot of carbs but a lot of fat.  The carbs were all from the avocados.  
I also went for a long walk with Lilly and did 8k so that was something which kept me occupied.  When I am moving I don't feel the terrible craving.  Craving is not a good word.  It is much more desperate than that.  It's a need.  So I am going to bed now and I really am not hungry.  I am not thinking about food and just need to keep myself occupied until I settle down to sleep.  I will read for a bit and then sleep.  
Let's see what tomorrow brings.  It will be interesting to see.
WTG ME!!!!

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