Planning, planning and more planning 85.8kgs

 Saturday 85.8 kgs

We are in England.  This is a really dangerous time for me.  I am always swayed by the amazing foods here which I really miss when I am in France.  I feel desperate to try it all and eat my fill before we go home.  The reason I am doing this WOE is because when we came home after Christmas when Mum was so ill I ate myself into a stupor.  I had been so poorly before Christmas and then came here feeling quite fragile. Whilst I was in hospital I weighed 90 kgs.  I know because they asked me and I remember telling them.  Then I came home and was not at all careful about what I ate so gained a few more kilos.  Then we came to England and the rest is history.  I do remember weighing myself after we came back from Spain and I was 95 kgs.  I was absolutely horrified and so started Keto and fasted but not clean fasting because I didn't know about it and was only fasting til lunch time.  I lost 2 kgs so that when I started IF on 10th April I was 93 kgs.  So just over a pound or .8 of a kilo to lose and it will be 10kgs lost since March.  

I have been reading the Bingeing book but it all feels a bit silly to me.  I will continue with it but I think I am developing some good techniques myself.  I forget to use them sometimes.  The eating a lump of butter, eating salt, swigging pickle juice are all things I can do to kill my hunger.  I bloody forgot today.  Mum, Dad and Mike were all eating around me and I felt so hungry.  I had not drank enough water this morning or had any salt.  I had fasted 16 hours and so I had what was left of my omelettes and a handful of prawns with some mayo.  As I keep saying throughout this blog I must have a plan for every day.  

My plan for the rest of today is to not eat until dinner tonight.  Mum is doing a roast ham with salad and potatoes.  I am not sure if I want ham but I might have a steak that I bought for myself.  I will have salad but no potatoes.  It's a plan.

Tomorrow,  I must fast all day.  I must eat the butter, eat the salt, drink the water and drink the olive brine.  If I do these things then I can basically eat what I want in the evening and keep my weight in a safe place.  If I can go home somewhere in the 85's I will be very happy.  I don't want to see 86 again because when the numbers go up it can take weeks for it to come back down again.  It's not worth it for a few moments of pleasure.  I eat for pleasure anyway so I will restrict myself to things I know I can eat without any restriction on portion size.  What's not to like?

Today I am grateful for

My lovely Mum and Dad who are still in my life and a treasure to me.

Having the money, time, and resources to be able to come over for 12 days and spend this precious time with them,

Just life!

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