Trusting the process.

 Date 23rd May 2023

AM 

What will test me today.

Going to 20 hours

How would I usually respond?

Give in at 18

How could I respond that would make me feel pleasantly surprised with myself when I look back on it tonight?

Keep busy and be kinder to myself.

PM

What tested me today

Only eating one beefburger

What happened?  

I only ate one.

How did I respond?

I learned to sit with my feelings for 30 minutes or so to see if I really want to eat any more.


This new bit of my blog does seem to make a difference.  It is making me think and plan.  The most important thing at the moment is that I fast for 18+ hours which I seem to be doing fine.  20 is a struggle though but I intend to keep trying.  The secret is keeping busy in the afternoon hours when I start to feel hungry.  I know now that is not real hunger.  It is emotional and head hunger.

I weighed myself this morning and I can't believe it!  I was 87.5.  a whole pound or .5 of a Kilo since yesterday.  I ate a lot yesterday although it was 1400 calories.  I had no coffee though and not many carbs.  I fasted for 18.5 hours.  It was easily doable.

I wish I didn't have to keep weighing myself every day because it is true what Gin Stevens says, the scales have the power to make or ruin my day.   Maybe a few weeks down the line I will be able to give up the scales and trust the process but not yet.

I keep listening to the podcasts where so many people have lost soooo much weight and healed their bodies and feeling like a failure because it doesn't seem to be working for me and I was feeling so bad.  I realise now that I need to be kinder to myself and just go with it.  There are not really any rules except to fast and to tweak it till it's easy. and yesterday was easy.

So the plan today is to fast until I feel the need to eat.  I am having my hair done at 2.30pm so that will see me home at about 4pm.  I have pre prepared some burgers and some chicken and there is lots of fruit in the fridge.

Mike is going to have the spanish lasagne so we are sorted.

I feel so much better with not drinking coffee.  All is well with the world....

UPDATE....

So did really well even though I felt hungry by 11am I kept drinking green tea and water.  I had to go and get my hair cut so on the way I drank more water with salt.  I eventually got home at 4pm so had fasted for a few minutes short of 20 hours which is an amazing result.

This hunger thing is something I must ponder on more because really it is not hunger.  It is a feeling which will pass if I give it 10 minutes or so and have a drink.

So when I got home I had a beefburger that I had cooked yesterday with a small amount of mayo.  I had cooked 2 and two were on the plate.  I made myself eat only one and then put the plate back in the fridge.  About 30 minutes after I had eaten I sat with the feelings in my stomach.  I am talking about the area on the left hand side of my body just under my ribs.  I felt full.  In fact I could feel that slightly uncomfortable feeling there.  I absolutely did the right thing in not eating another mouthful.  I have dinner to look forward to which is some chicken which I cooked yesterday with some white asparagus.

I have two pieces of chicken cooked and my greedy brain says eat both but my head says eat one and then if you are still hungry after an hour then have some fruit and cream.

I know I can do this if I just get my head in order.

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