Hyper, Hypo, Cortisol? Testing, testing. 88kgs

So yesterday was a research day and time to tune things up or down.

BTW just to get it out there, I weighed this morning and I was down to 88kgs dead on.  That is a relief because after my birthday bash when I still fasted for 18 hours I was up to 88.8 kgs which took all week to lose.  

So after my research yesterday I decided to go back to a more keto regime but to include good clean fasting for at least 18 hours.  I managed this well yesterday and apart from an orange and some grapes after dinner I was pretty much Keto.

The second change is I have cut out coffee from today to see if this is what is causing me to feel so really unwell.  The fuzzy, buzzing head, blurred vision, shaking and general massive tiredness.  Last night I was very, very tired and I had a very lazy day with no exercise apart from 40 minutes of pilates.  I slept pretty well though apart from some shitty dreams.

My food yesterday was good.  I fasted 18 hours and then had a couple of ounces of charcuterie followed by some cashew nuts with cranberries and then for dinner we had salmon with courgettes and roasted sprouts.  It was lovely and I was full after the fruit and cream.

I am only drinking water and green tea today.  I plan on 20 hours of fasting but that might change to 18 if necessary.  The one thing that is for sure is that I need to be busy.  I cannot believe how often before I would mindlessly eat.  How often do I go to the fridge for something else and then take out a piece of cheese or ham or olives or just search for something to put in my mouth.  Eating is definitely an emotional habit.  Self soothing at its best.

UPDATE~ So it's now 1pm and so far I have had two cups of green tea and no coffee and I feel absolutely fine.  No muzzy head, no blurred vision and no headache and I don't feel hungry either.  So all good.  It remains to be seen if it lasts but I plan to continue with it.

My plan is to try and stick to between 18 and 22 hours fasted but when I feel I NEED to eat then I will.  It's all a learning curve and I have a lot of time to get there.  

My plan is to be 85 kgs by the time Becky and Ollie come in August which is 11 weeks.  That's 3kgs or 6.6 lbs in 11 weeks.  I can do it but I know how hard it has been the last 2 weeks and my weight had gone up by 1.5 kgs.  I am not going to change that target and I will keep it in mind but if I don't get there then it will be fine.  I want to go back to the feeling I had last week just before my birthday when I felt slim and vital and gorgeous.  I felt attractive.  Today I feel like an elephant again.  I feel fat and frumpy and ugly.  I need to change my thinking as well.  There maybe another update later.  Rule nothing out!

So as per the book I am working through I am going to try and do an AM and PM note every day to try and anticipate where I might need help to achieve my goals.... Note I didn't say fail!

Date  22 May 2023

AM 

Tasks, interactions, thoughts, feelings, circumstances or events that may well test me today.

1:   Worrying that I would feel ill again even though I have stopped the coffee.

2:   Getting to my 18 hour window and feeling deprived and wanting to eat.  Wanting to do 20 hours but not having the strength or willpower to do it.  

3:   Snacking between meals

4:   Overeating at all my meals including snacks.

5:    Dishing out too much dinner and then eating it all.

How would I usually respond?

1:    Self medicate with food if I do feel rough:

2:    Give in at 18 hours, it's easy and I deserve it!

3:     Give in because I am worth it and I deserve a snack as I fasted didn't I?

4:    I will do that because I have to clear my plate and not leave anything behind.  I deserve the snacks.

5:    I will dish up too much as the small plate is only small isn't it?  It's not that much food is it?


How could I respond that would make me feel pleasantly surprised with myself when I look back on it tonight?

1:    Wait and see what happens.  No coffee, lots of tea and water.

2:    Just imagine how good it will feel when I wait another hour.  How pleased with myself I will be.

3:    Try and resist and if I can't then have something small like some grapes or a small piece of cheese.  

4:     Listen to my body.  Try and hear the signal that I am getting full.  Listen for that feeling under my          ribs on the left hand side of my body.   Don't wait to be uncomfortable and try and leave a small              thing on the plate.

5:     Dish up enough food for a child.  Eat that and then if I am still hungry then I can have a small                amount more.  I can have anything I want so I am not deprived.  I am not going to be hungry.


PM

Tasks, interactions, thoughts, feelings, circumstances or events that have tested me today.

  1. Well there is a turn up for the books.  I had no coffee,  ate few carbs and felt like I overate.

What happened?  

  1. I still dished up too much dinner and ate it but maybe it wasn't too much.  Maybe it was enough.

How did I respond?

  1. I felt good and happy and more in control.  I had no horrible health feelings so that's a win.

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